Oh, the Shame!

The past couple of weeks have been a blur of baby. Long before Little Hunter arrived, I bought myself a co-sleeper, thinking it was a great way to get the kid fed, changed and back to sleep in as little time as possible, buying me extra minutes of precious precious sleep.

The co-sleeper is great in theory but not so much in practice. So far, Little Hunter is turning out to be quite the noisy sleeper. From my bedside comes a steady stream of grunts, groans, snorts, snores and tiny cries. Something about becoming a new mom turns the deepest sleeper into someone who's shot wide awake at the sound of a pin drop. Yes, sleep is feeling pretty elusive these days.

So today, I put Toddler down for some quiet time in her room and sat down in the recliner with Little Hunter for some skin-to-skin time. In no time at all, we were both fast asleep.

In what felt like a nanosecond later, I heard toddler having a conversation with someone down the hall. I didn't think Hunter was home and everyone else in the house was right in front of me. In a panic, I got up and dashed back to my bedroom. There was Toddler chatting on my cell phone explaining to somebody that she was done with quiet time, wasn't tired anymore and her mommy was sleeping. To whom she was chatting, I didn't know. I didn't think she could have unlocked my phone and called someone. I figured someone must have called me and she merely picked it up.

Oh how mistaken I was! Turns out Toddler decided on her own that quiet time was over, wandered into my room and picked up my phone from the bedside table. I guess after pressing a bunch of buttons she got the phone unlocked, turned on the speaker and managed to call emergency services.

When I got to her, I found that she was having quite the chat with a 911 operator. After reclaiming my phone, I assured emergency services that all was well in the house, gave my name and birthdate to the kind operator and apologized profusely for the call. I then hung up, face burning with embarrassment.

Here's what I know about Homer - I know that the police blotter is one of the most well read and well talked about sections of our local paper. It's quite the public shaming to appear in the blotter. You're never in there because you did something amazing and are some shining example of modern citizenry. Nope, you're in there because you did something dumb. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to appear in the next police blotter. Whether they use my name or not, I'll be there.

Tonight, I'm feeling awfully thankful that I don't live in Unalaska because I know that particular blotter writer would go to town on my sorry sleeping self.